


Prompt: "You were so drunk you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter Pan in a fight, and I must say, you were quite persuasive."

by RoseDemica



Series: Random One Shots (Avengers) [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Clint messed up, Drunk Avengers, F/M, Prompt Fic, Sister Agents, The Rise of Thanos, Tony and Iris are best friends, second wedding anniversary, the fall of loki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:15:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26036254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseDemica/pseuds/RoseDemica
Summary: Warning! Drunk Tony Stark, and Iris.Just a weird but funny Prompt fic,Iris awakes alone on her 2nd wedding anniversary. Clint having gotten his dates and timezones confused, and rushing off in the wee hours of the morning with Pepper.Tony, her best friend, joins her in drinking all day, and the pair start fighting over who would win in a fight, Peter Pan, or Santa Claus,
Relationships: Clint Barton/Iris Coulson-Fury, Clint Barton/OC, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Series: Random One Shots (Avengers) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1904695





	Prompt: "You were so drunk you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter Pan in a fight, and I must say, you were quite persuasive."

~~~~~♥~~~~~♡~~~~~♥~~~~~

Iris sighed when she woke up alone in bed yet again, rolling over into the cold part of the bed where her lover should have been. Where he’d crawled into bed and wrapped her up in his arms the night before. She frowned when the cold sheets embraced her skin.

“Agent Barton and Ms Potts had to fly out to Tokyo for an emergency meeting a few hours ago.” Iris sighed, ever since Happy had taken a well deserved vacation Clint had been attached to Peppers side, taking the role of her personal bodyguard before Tony could even accept the fact that Pepper had allowed the man a holiday. 

Iris shouldn’t complain, it was satisfying his itch to be out in the field, and Tony was paying him more than Shield ever could. Clint was as close to Pepper as she was to Tony, and it was no surprise that he’d chosen to stand in and protect her like he had so many times before.

"Sir requests your presence when you're awake. He's on his living floor." Iris curled herself in the sheets that held the lingering scent of her lover, taking a deep breath before she got up. 

"Tell him I'll be half an hour. Imma shower and check in on the twins quickly." Fury and Coulson had taken Amelia and Evan to spend a week with their grandparents, it was so that Iris and Clint could have their second year wedding anniversary alone together. Not realising that Clint would volunteer as Pepper’s bodyguard and be away from her side.

"Of course Ma'am. Shall I call Director Fury or Agent Coulson for you?" 

"Papa please Jarvis."

~~~~~♥~~~~~♡~~~~~♥~~~~~

Iris smiled to herself when she saw Tony curled in the middle of his big bed, an open book across his chest from where he'd dropped it when he fell asleep. She picked the book up, marking the page before resting it on his bedside table, watching the inventor for a moment before flopping down on the bed beside him.

"I miss her," Tony mumbled, cracking open one brown eye to watch as Iris settled herself beside him.

"I don't think they've been back longer than six hours all week." Iris frowned, snuggling closer to Tony's side. The older man held out his arm, wrapping it around her waist to hold her close, while she claimed his chest as a pillow.

“I told Pepper to make sure she was home today. That’s why they came back last night. I said I’d handle anything that came up. I’m sorry Ri. They were gone before I woke up.” Iris frowned, pushing herself upwards to look down at Tony.

“Come on Iris, I remembered it, and you don’t.” Tony teased, squeezing her side gently, hooking his other hand under his head as he watched her.

“The date today is the twenty fifth of May Ma’am.” Tony tightened his hold around Iris, tugging her down to curl against his chest as tears welled in her eyes. He felt the cool sting of her tears soak through his shirt as she sobbed, hiding her face in his chest.

“Jarvis.” Tony looked away from Iris as his hand ran up and down her back, offering what little comfort he could, but he knew his arms weren’t those she should be seeking comfort from.

“I have already crafted a strongly worded text message to be sent to Agent Barton, would you like to hear it?” Jarvis replied,

“Sure J, go ahead.” Tony smiled, as his AI pretended to clear his throat.

“How dare you leave your wife alone on your two year wedding anniversary. What kind of Arsehole does that!? You best have something planned to make up for slipping away in the dead of night without even so much as a goodbye. That's low even by my standards. Still think you’re an arse. Say hi to Pepper from me. I’m mad at her too, by the way, I told her I’d handle anything that came up today so you could be here! Arsehole. Love from Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist, Tony Stark.” Tony fought the urge to laugh as Iris pulled away from him with a smile on her face.

“That’s perfect Jarvis!” She announced, sitting up properly and crossing her legs.

“Sent the message Ma’am. I shall inform you and Sir if there is a response from your significant others. In the meantime, may I suggest that Sir takes Ma’am out for breakfast? Seeing as everyone else is out for the day, and neither of you can cook.”

“Hey! I can make Omelettes!” Tony protested, 

“Shut up and take me out. My husband ditched me.” Iris argued back, playfully shoving the genius off of his bed.

“Fine. He owes me though!” Tony grumbled, pushing himself up off the floor and heading for the bathroom.

~~~~~♥~~~~~♡~~~~~♥~~~~~

Bruce was exhausted when he returned to the tower late that night. He expected to be left alone, Clint and Pepper were supposed to be home all day. Clint had huge plans for his second wedding anniversary, going so far as to make sure the twins would be away and convincing Pepper to keep Tony occupied for the entire day, so to be ambushed the second he stepped out of the elevator was not what he expected.

"BRUCIE!" Iris and Tony both slung an arm over his shoulders, each had a near empty bottle of alcohol in their hand, and several more empty ones littered over the bar.

"Clint and Pepper are in Tokyo, they got called away early this morning. Sir and Ma'am are attempting to drown their sorrows in alcohol and forget." Jarvis informed Bruce, seeming to watch as the duo pulled the doctor over to the bar.

"Bruce, who would win in a fight between Santa and Peter Pan, because this one thinks it's Peter Pan, and I think it's Santa." Tony asked, pouring Bruce a glass of whiskey from a fresh bottle, before finishing the one in his hand.

"Peter Pan is thin, swift, nimble, young, and he can fly! Not to mention that he knows how to wield a blade. Santa's all chubby and jolly." Iris playfully pinched the front of Tony's shirt as insulted Santa's weight. 

"Hey!" Tony swiped at her, but she'd already danced out of his range, laughter falling from her lips.

"Not if Santa squashes Peter Pan with his sleigh," Tony grumbled, putting aside his bottle to start a play fight with Iris. Iris was laughing as she downed the last of the bottle and responded to Tony's attempted hits. The alcohol made all their movements more sluggish and uncoordinated than Bruce was used to seeing - at least from Iris, who could barely hit straight through her laughter.

"Jarvis, please tell me you are recording this?" Bruce whispered, lifting the glass to his mouth to hide his smile at his two friends.

"Of course Dr. Banner. I am also live streaming it to both Agent Barton and Ms. Potts, they're on the plane back now. Agent Barton's beating himself up that he forgot the date of his own wedding anniversary and got his timezones messed up." Jarvis responded, not worrying about Iris and Tony overhearing him as Iris tripped and thudded into the billionaire's chest. Tony wrapped an arm around her waist to keep her upright. His free hand tangling in her hair as her laughter turned to sobs. Her knees giving out beneath her. Tony was quick to lift her into his arms and carry her over to the couch, holding her close until her sobs subsided.

"Damn it, Clint." Tony disentangled himself from the younger woman, pulling the blankets from the foot of the couch to cover her as she settled into the soft cushions, stumbling towards Bruce and picking up his abandoned bottle of whiskey.

"When did you start drinking?" Bruce asked, watching Tony awkwardly clamber onto the barstool, downing half the bottle once he was settled.

"Uhrm, ten am?" Tony glanced upwards as if asking Jarvis for confirmation of his guess.

"When you got back from breakfast at ten you decided that drinking away your pain was a good idea," Jarvis replied, Bruce glanced at his watch, it had just gone ten pm now, so they'd been drinking a solid twelve hours, he had to wonder when they'd forgone glasses in favour of entire bottles.

"Thanks, J. You tell Clint he's a dick yet?" Tony slurred, pulling up a holographic screen on the bar top below him.

"Multiple times Sir," Jarvis replied, sounding almost bored of the question.

"Good." Tony nodded once to himself as he started typing.

"Tony, that can't be a good idea." Bruce tried to reach around him to minimise the document, but Tony battered his hand away with reflexes that he could have only picked up from the multiple spies and assassins that inhabited his tower.

"I'm not working on anything important. Just proving Ri wrong. Don't fret." Tony started muttering to himself as Bruce finished the last of his glass.

"Don't stay up too late." He doubted Tony even heard him as he left the room in favour of his own bed.

~~~~~♥~~~~~♡~~~~~♥~~~~~

A scream jolted Tony awake, his head lifting up from the bar to glance around the living room, trying to ignore the throbbing in his temple as he did so. The lights, mercifully, had been dimmed enough so he could just make out figures in the background. Pepper had a frown on her face as she flicked through a few documents on the tablet in her hand, speaking softly to Jarvis, he presumed. 

The scream, however, had come from Iris, who was wrapped tightly in her husband's arms - despite her halfhearted attempts to break free. His head bowed closer to hers so he could whisper softly to her. Tony smiled when he saw her arms wrap around him rather than fight against him. Iris would hold a grudge, but right now she needed him more than she needed to be mad at him.

"Still mad?" Pepper asked softly, walking to his side and running her fingers through his hair. Tony leant into her touch.

"Yes, she was distraught all day Pep. It was horrible, he took time off to spend with her on their anniversary, and I let him be taken away." Tony reached for the still open bottle of whiskey that sat on the benchtop, Pepper intercepted it before it could pass his lips.

"You two had enough. Now come on, bed." Pepper ushered everyone into the lift with a soft smile playing on her lips.

"What's so amusing Pep?" Tony asked softly, wrapping his arms around her.

"You were so drunk that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter Pan in a fight, and I must say, you were quite persuasive." She replied, leaning into his side with a laugh.


End file.
